To motivate someone successfully and permanently is through nurturing them.  You must possess positive feelings for others to make a positive impact.

What a nurturer gets right:

| Acceptance.  Love always find a way to help, indifference finds only excuses.

| Believe.  People will rise or fall to meet your expectations.

| Commitment.  Initially you will need to spend more time with them and less as they build confidence in themselves.

| Unattached support.  If you need people, you cannot lead them.  Let them choose and experience without expectations.

| Opportunities.  Support that fosters opportunities to take risks that build strength, courage and self confidence.

| Encourage.  Inspire people to achieve the highest and best within them.

Responding positively - behaviors like complaining and blaming - holds us in the past and prevents us from creating healthy relationships. Ultimately, when we choose to speak about or evaluate someone else or situation in a critical, derogatory, we are holding that person or circumstances for our happiness or unhappiness.  However, if we choose to evaluate ourselves by examining what we are thinking, feeling and doing, we can become aware how to best choose our response.